Okay, I'm stopping now.
I am, however, still in a funk. Just not a French Onion Soup funk.
Maybe the fact that I was so close to getting some tonight and it didn't happen is part of that.
No. Can't be. I'm not that dependent on food to make me happy. Especially not savory, melty, oniony, hot, delicious, mouth watering French Onion Soup.
Maybe I have a problem.
Maybe that problem lies elsewhere and I am tying it to French Onion Soup.
Didn't I say I was stopping?
I think it was the text I got last night. I think I am missing home a little bit this week. In a weird way. In a way that is different to the way I was missing home a couple months ago. This is a deeper longing for the small things. Especially the small things that I loved about Missouri in the spring.
The evening drives with the windows down. Spring Thunder storms and finding the perfect place to watch the lightning. The smell of the flowers growing in peoples yards.
I miss Bob Evans. I know, I know! I can't believe I made it this far without missing that place. In Rhode Island it was a month before I began to long for the food and miss working with the people there. This time I lasted 4 and 1/2 months. I am so proud of myself.
I miss the university ward and it's security. I miss knowing that I would be able to go to church every week.
Out of all these things, what I miss most of all really is what I have missed all along and that is home.
But that longing has decreased and I can't decide if that's good or bad.
Everyone is figuring out what they are going to do after this. And here I am, procrastinating as usual.
Who wants to commit to something? How many people find happiness when they do that?
That was a rather down remark and I apologize.
And then this post ended just as it started: with no idea where it was headed or why it existed.
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