What it Is

I have proven myself a failure at being consistent. Methinks this should be a place for me. Maybe not the collected me that makes sense. More like the me that likes to be. To wonder, to plan, to think, to understand. I want to write everyday. It is my hope that this is the blog that will facilitate that goal.

I dont make any promises. You could still call this my creative blog. But I'd like to think of it more as the debris that is left behind after all the normal thoughts blow through my consciousness.

Don't expect it to always make sense or be worth your time. I think the main goal if for it to be my sanity.

Mottled Light

Mottled Light
the way my mind feels sometimes, waiting for a breakthrough.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Entry Six

Continuing the story of Alae and her struggling family in the tale Spero. I would still like comments on this work in progress. It's nowhere near perfect and I like constructive criticism. Bring it on. This is a short one. I haven't posted in a while and I wanted to get something out. I hope that you enjoy this installment of Spero more than the last one which was a little rough around the edges.

Alae stirred fitfully all night on her cot in the main room. Sleep came only in the pitch black hours of the early morning and all too soon a gray haze of light was breaking through the one tiny curtained window above where she slept. The rats were beginning to stir above. Loud clunks sounded as they stumbled around, their hangovers getting the best of them. The door to the basement opened and a sleepy Crash made his way down the stairs. Alae did not raise her head, but pretended to still be asleep, hoping that he might leave her be this time. her hopes were, as usual, baseless.
"Alae," he whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder and shaking gently. She heard him stifle a yawn and then resume his jostling.
"Alae, c'mon. Time to get the rats their remedies."
Alae grumbled something unintelligible in protest and shook his hand off.
"Don't give me this today, " Crash groaned. "Last night was not good."
She rolled over reluctantly and glared at the tall man crouching over her.
"When is life ever good?" she growled.
"Are you going to shout the house down like you almost did last night?"
"No..."
"Good. Let's get moving."
He took her arm and pulled until she tumbled hard onto the dirt floor. Coughing in the dust that flew up, she pushed herself to her knees and rose to her feet. She went to the small room that served as their changing area, She looked at her reflection in the dull, cracked mirror. Staring back at her was a girl that she barely knew.
Her complexion was pale from lack of sunlight. Her deep brown eyes were dull and without any feeling or emotion, the skin around them swollen from last nighs tears. Her golden brown hair hung in cropped locks around her ears, kept short in order to maker her appearance less conspicuous to Them should They ever venture to this part of town. She was unhealthily thin. Nourishment was so hard to some by everyday. The had enough to get by, but never enough to satisfy. Below the mirror was a metal basin filled each morning and emptied each night of water. They acquired it from a network of piping that extended up to the bar. Crash had already filled the basin for the day and Alae splashed her face with the cold liquid. She cupped her hands and poured the gathered liquid over her head rubbing vigorously to get as much of the smoke smell from last night out.
"Alae, C'mon!" Crash called down.
"Coming," Alae muttered under her breath. She made her way to her parents room that was directly adjacent to the changing area. Her father and older brother had long since left for their shift at one of the weapons production facilities. Her mother was no longer asleep. She was on her knees next the the floor mat that was their bed. Her mouth moved fervently in a silent prayer. Alae's heart filled with bitterness as she thought of how that prayer would not be answered. She backed silently out of the room and continued on her morning routine. At the north end of the basement was a room that had been built by excess plywood that Crash has managed to acquire for some minor renovations years ago. It was just large enough for the two boys to live in. Christian slept alone on one of the mats. In his hand was clutched one of the flyer's from last night. Under his pillow Alae could see a section of paper on which was written a coded version of the flyer's words. As angry as she had been last night, Alae admired her brother for keeping up such a strong sense of hope. It was all that kept him going. She could see from the redness around his eyes that he had cried last night as well. She crouched down beside his sleeping form and gently rested her hand on his head. He stirred ever so slightly. Alae sighed.
"I love you little brother," she whispered in the fading dark, then rose and tiptoed out of the room. Crash was wasting for her at the foot of the stairs directly across the room. On his face was a strange look. A mix between pity and admiration. Alae took several long strides and was at the stairs passing him to ascend.
"I don't know how you go on every day like this." He murmured.
"The same way you and everyone else does. Survival."
Crash shook his head sadly.
"Someday this will all be better."
"Yeah," Alae spat with as much sarcasm as she could muster, grasping the door handle to the bar hard. "Someday..."


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