Entry Eighty-Three

There is no way out.

What have I gotten myself into?

I'm lost in my own brain. Great.

So, what now?

You Decide!

Should I:

A) Take a nap and when I wake up, hope that the door has come back?

B) Put on some more dream sunglasses and see if I can dream a way out?

C) Run around screaming until I have no energy left and fall into an exhausted coma?

D) All of the above?

Me, I would choose D. But because that would take much too long to type into some kind of story, I am going to choose for you.

I pick B.

I go for another blank pair of sunglasses. What better chance do I have of finding a doorway out of my brain than by going further into it, right?

I take a deep breath and slid on the eyewear.

The scene before me is all to familiar. At the same time it's a place I have never been before. Bob Evans. You know those dreams where you are in a place you go often but it doesn't look at all like that location in real life? It's like that. I have a tray in my hands with food on it.

In that instant I begin to panic. I haven't served in 8 months! What table does this go to? I don't recognize any of the dishes on the tray. What am I giving people? I look around the restaurant. There are no other employees. Just tables filled with people. There doesn't look to be an empty seat in the house. People all over the floor hail me with raised hands. The din of voices is deafening. There are more people coming in at the door.

What do I do? I can't even think straight and my feet won't move.

This cannot be happening.

With that thought comes understanding and the first sense of calm. Of course this can't be happening. I'm can't be working at Bob Evans. I am stuck in my brain. I just had a momentary lapse in concentration and forgot what reality was. I drop the tray which is now empty and watch as the guests melt away.

I am alone again, but still in Bob Evans. So where do I go? I'm looking for a door out of the right side of my brain. I don't know how long it's been or how much time I have before the way back into real life is shut. So there is only one thing to do.

Start trying doors.

The first one that comes to mind is the door to the walk-in. Without moving, I find myself there. Convenient. I grasp the handle and pull hard. Cold air rushes out and welcomes me in.

Instead of food, there is a snow covered forest. Beautiful and peaceful. Well, why not?

I step in. The snow is knee deep and still falling. Pines stand tall against the grey sky. Everything smells black and white. I'm in New Hampshire. Well, that's a step in the right direction. When I entered my brain I was in New Hampshire. If I can just find a door that leads to my cabin, maybe I can find a way back to reality. So I look around and take bearings. I'm in a part of the woods I don't recognize. And I have no coat or boots or anything like that.

Hey, maybe if I just stand here I will get cold enough that I will wake up. But as I stand the snow begins to melt. Everything that was black and white melts away into greens and browns and yellows. And everything gets warm. It's spring all of a sudden.

And then...

...How did I get to the lodge?

But there it is. Another door, another place. Further and further into my mind I go.

Handle, door, hinges, etc. The scene inside is well, I would say it wasn't what I expected, but I don't know what to expect anymore.

It's a version of my bedroom from years ago. A house I lived in when I was very young. The floor is moving. Little ripples. I place 1 foot on the floor.

*Crunch*

Um...

I put another foot down.

*Crunch*

Okay...

Meanwhile the ground continues to undulate in an unsettling away. I'm afraid to move but I don't have to wait long. Through a small hole, hundreds of spiders burst forth and begin crawling all over. I move. I move as fast as I can, trying not to freak out. I turn to go out the door I came through but it's not there.

These doors really need to stop disappearing.

There's the closet door. In crunch across the sea of spiders, wincing at each squishy impact of my feet.

In and out I go to the sweet bliss of no more spiders. Instead, I'm sitting in a chair. A desk to be precise. A small crowded desk and my old AP Lit. teacher is at the front of a small classroom. I am aware that it's college, and not high school which doesn't make sense. My teacher is looking at me expectantly.

"Well?" He says.

What am I supposed to do? He obviously sees the confusion on my face.

"To pass the test you have to recite the entire final act of Romeo and Juliet."

What?!? Not only is that unreasonable, that is one of my least favorite plays. No. I'm not going to do it.

"You will fail the class if you cannot. Sarah, we talked about this. I set this up for you because you said you could do it."

My heart sinks. I don't want to disappoint him. He's my favorite teacher. He's taught me so much. I feel like I am going to cry but then I am no longer in the body sitting a the desk. I'm floating above watching the scene and the girl that I was does break down and cry. The class all get up from their seats and converge on her giving her a big group hug. At that moment I would give anything to be back in that body. But I can fly so I might as well take advantage of that while I can.

I fly out the open door and look for one that I can open and go through to a new scene.

I fly and fly and fly...Going nowhere. And suddenly I realize that I am bored with this. Irreversibly board. Why is this still going on?

And I fall.

Jolted awake. I'm on the white floor of the dream glasses room. When I sit up and look at the wall across from me, I see the door.

The one I had been looking for all along.

It probably doesn't matter, I say to myself. There is no way that I got through all that in time to make it out of my head. I'm probably stuck in here. I better just go back to the memory room and lose myself in the good days.

I exit the room and prepare to sit in the chair to watch the memories that have already started streaming along the walls. But the idea of watching anything else in my mind tires me. I wonder if I can find the brain radio and turn it off so that I can sleep in the foyer.

When I open the door the first thing I hear is, "Mirrors on the ceiling, the pink champagne on ice and she said 'we are all just prisoners here of our own device.' And in the master's chambers, they gathered for the feast. They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast."

Wait...Maybe that song has been playing this whole time. But somehow I don't think so.

Did time move? Change? It is my brain. You can get lost in there for years and it be only a split second.

The phone rings. "The Downeaster 'Alexa'" plays from the old rotary phone.

I pick up.

"Hello?"

"Sarah." A familiar voice says. That British Harry Potter narrating guy.

"Yes?"

"Are you ready to come out?"

"What?"

"Have you spent a sufficient amount of time visiting the right side of your brain?"

"Last time you gave me a 2 minute warning."

"That was from the structured side of your brain. The right side has little structure and would not mind at all if you go lost in there for the rest of your existence. It's a good thing you got out."

"So..."

"Are you ready to come back to reality?"

"Yes."

Reality can't be any scarier than the stuff in my brain, right?