I have been rolling this idea around my brain for the past few weeks. An attempt at a post apocalyptic setting. I havn't done a lot of research so I find it easier to set it somewhere I know very well...home.
"When They came, They came swift and without any ounce of warning," it was known to hear the reporters say shortlty after it happened. There was no way of knowing what would happen when the clocks struck midnight on October the 31 2030. This was, of course, a lie. Governments around the world had been tracking the movements of rogue terrorist groups for decades. The fact that They were not at all singular and divided, but a leigon of intricately guided fanatics was not a new theory. But most had frowned upon the negative postulations of those who debated that these groups where planning to unite and reign terror on the world. In our gleaming and flourshing new societies, such a catistrophic event could ever occur. Or so our governments wanted us to think. They knew all along that this was more than just an implosible idea and could indeed occur. So as secretly as possible preparations were made to protect the larger cities of the world. Little did they know that this was exactly what They expected.
It wasn't New York, Paris or Bejing that They went after first.
Columbia, Missouri: 2045
"15 years ago this palce was thriving. So were many of the towns just like it. Homes to Major Universities. Thats where they struck first. Their whole regime based on the idea that western eduction was taking over the world, and to be honest, it was. But this was something that They could not allow. Within the first hour, reports of were coming in of no less than 35 schools being hit. We were one of the first. We all remember that day. Explosions ripping through every classroom and residence hall. The ones who died instantly and from the resulting fires were lucky. In the hours following the initial devistation, They came out of nowhere. Stole away any survivors for "Re-education". And in the desolation left behind there are those of us who struggle to rebuild what was lost. The United States Government is overrun. All intercontinent communication has been lost for years. We are alone with no way to know what goes on in the world...if they fare better than us or if there is even a world to communicate with. They are in control. But we must not lose hope! God watches from above and will not abandon us..."
From here Alae threw the gray non-descript flyer into the white coals of the smouldering fire, making a sound of disgust. The second it hit, the words were enveloped in orange flame. Consumed by the relentless tongues of heat. She watched as they dissappeared. Becoming nothing but black ash. Meaningless words. She turned her eyes to the smoke that rose from the charred paper, following it's path through the hole in the ceiling that led directly under the fireplace in the building above.
"You shouldn't have done that," a voice murmedred from behind her. "The less smoke the better. And you know that your father likes to read those when he comes home." Alaeh shrugged and took up a long stick. Used it to poke at the coals.
"Not like there's anything in there worth reading. Just a pointless reminder of what happened and then a bit about God and how He will come and redeem us someday soon. There hasn't been anything worthy of news in there for over 4 months now."
"Thats your opinion," chimed another voice. Younger, more deffiant. Alaeh turned around and faced the two people behind her. Her mother sat at a large rusted tub scrubbing the last remains of supper off of dishes. Beside her was a young boy who was carefully scrawling something onto a sheet of dirty paper at a small round table.
"Why don't you just let dad read yours Chris, if it means so much to you," Alaeh asked in a sweet patronizing tone. Her younger brother glared at her with all the malice that his 14-year-old face could muster. "Oh thats right," she scoffed, "It's copied in you 'secret code' so that They cant read it. No one can read it but you."
"So what," he spat at her.
"Why don't you just grow up? When are you going to understand that the people who write these flyers are nothing more than a bunch of Optimist freaks that are going to get us all killed. They don't know anything and only turn to God because they need something to make them feel better."
"Alae...," her mothers eyes widened warningly
"They're no better than those Nirvana sniffers who lose themselves in an illusion to let go of the pain of real life."
"Shut-Up!" There were tears standing in the boys eyes now.
"Alae, stop it!" Both boy and woman had risen. The former snatched up his papers and bolted from the room. The latter glared at Alaeh with a look that said, 'you should know better'. She felt guilt rush into her, causing her eyes to sting. She wouldn't look at her mother who spoke in a hushed but berating tone.
"He is entitled to his opinion. So are you, but must you crush what little hopes he has? It's not fair to do that to him."
A sudden anger rose unbidden into Alae's throat and made her shout her next words.
"Fair?! Ha! Since when has life for us ever been fair? It's not fair that we have to live here and dad and Finn have to risk their lives every single day! It's not fair that the only reason I can work and help keep this family safe is because I'm a 20-year-old woman who serves as eye candy for those disgusting rats that keep us hidden from Them! It's only a matter of time until Crash can't protect me anymore and the rats take me for their own! Life is not fair and it's time that Chris learned that!"
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Alae felt ashamed. She went back to poking at the coals as her mother gaped at her silently. There was a sound of feet on stairs and the door burst open. A tall, slender man in a white apron and jeans stood in the light that spilled out of the entry, casting a long shadow that stretched across the room. His gray eyes bore into the back of Alaeh's head as he sopke in furious wisper.
"What in the name of all that is holy is going on down here? Are you mental? What makes you think that it's okay to shout the house down? I've got rat customers up there and you're lucky that they're all too wasted to register anything or there would be major hell to pay!"
No one spoke for several moments.
"Well?" the man demanded
"Sorry Crash. It won't happen again,"Alae mumbled to the floor.
"It bloody well had better not!" He sighed and ran grimy fingers through his dark hair. Shaking his head, he turned and shut the door. They could hear him stomping up the stairs. There was quite, interrupted only by the muted music and scuffel of feet above. Then Alaeh heard her mother walk up behind her and begin to stroke her head gently.
"Sweetheart, I know that it's not fair. But for some there is this little ray of hope and we cling to it as hard as we can. It's what gets us through. Don't be so hasty to take that away from us." Alae didn't answer, but continued to stab at the dying coals while tears fell silently to the floor, making tiny craters in the dirt.
I still don't have a title for this. Who knows if it will be something I want to continue. It is rather depressing at this point and will continue to be so for a while I think. Feel free to comment with what you think so far.
"When They came, They came swift and without any ounce of warning," it was known to hear the reporters say shortlty after it happened. There was no way of knowing what would happen when the clocks struck midnight on October the 31 2030. This was, of course, a lie. Governments around the world had been tracking the movements of rogue terrorist groups for decades. The fact that They were not at all singular and divided, but a leigon of intricately guided fanatics was not a new theory. But most had frowned upon the negative postulations of those who debated that these groups where planning to unite and reign terror on the world. In our gleaming and flourshing new societies, such a catistrophic event could ever occur. Or so our governments wanted us to think. They knew all along that this was more than just an implosible idea and could indeed occur. So as secretly as possible preparations were made to protect the larger cities of the world. Little did they know that this was exactly what They expected.
It wasn't New York, Paris or Bejing that They went after first.
Columbia, Missouri: 2045
"15 years ago this palce was thriving. So were many of the towns just like it. Homes to Major Universities. Thats where they struck first. Their whole regime based on the idea that western eduction was taking over the world, and to be honest, it was. But this was something that They could not allow. Within the first hour, reports of were coming in of no less than 35 schools being hit. We were one of the first. We all remember that day. Explosions ripping through every classroom and residence hall. The ones who died instantly and from the resulting fires were lucky. In the hours following the initial devistation, They came out of nowhere. Stole away any survivors for "Re-education". And in the desolation left behind there are those of us who struggle to rebuild what was lost. The United States Government is overrun. All intercontinent communication has been lost for years. We are alone with no way to know what goes on in the world...if they fare better than us or if there is even a world to communicate with. They are in control. But we must not lose hope! God watches from above and will not abandon us..."
From here Alae threw the gray non-descript flyer into the white coals of the smouldering fire, making a sound of disgust. The second it hit, the words were enveloped in orange flame. Consumed by the relentless tongues of heat. She watched as they dissappeared. Becoming nothing but black ash. Meaningless words. She turned her eyes to the smoke that rose from the charred paper, following it's path through the hole in the ceiling that led directly under the fireplace in the building above.
"You shouldn't have done that," a voice murmedred from behind her. "The less smoke the better. And you know that your father likes to read those when he comes home." Alaeh shrugged and took up a long stick. Used it to poke at the coals.
"Not like there's anything in there worth reading. Just a pointless reminder of what happened and then a bit about God and how He will come and redeem us someday soon. There hasn't been anything worthy of news in there for over 4 months now."
"Thats your opinion," chimed another voice. Younger, more deffiant. Alaeh turned around and faced the two people behind her. Her mother sat at a large rusted tub scrubbing the last remains of supper off of dishes. Beside her was a young boy who was carefully scrawling something onto a sheet of dirty paper at a small round table.
"Why don't you just let dad read yours Chris, if it means so much to you," Alaeh asked in a sweet patronizing tone. Her younger brother glared at her with all the malice that his 14-year-old face could muster. "Oh thats right," she scoffed, "It's copied in you 'secret code' so that They cant read it. No one can read it but you."
"So what," he spat at her.
"Why don't you just grow up? When are you going to understand that the people who write these flyers are nothing more than a bunch of Optimist freaks that are going to get us all killed. They don't know anything and only turn to God because they need something to make them feel better."
"Alae...," her mothers eyes widened warningly
"They're no better than those Nirvana sniffers who lose themselves in an illusion to let go of the pain of real life."
"Shut-Up!" There were tears standing in the boys eyes now.
"Alae, stop it!" Both boy and woman had risen. The former snatched up his papers and bolted from the room. The latter glared at Alaeh with a look that said, 'you should know better'. She felt guilt rush into her, causing her eyes to sting. She wouldn't look at her mother who spoke in a hushed but berating tone.
"He is entitled to his opinion. So are you, but must you crush what little hopes he has? It's not fair to do that to him."
A sudden anger rose unbidden into Alae's throat and made her shout her next words.
"Fair?! Ha! Since when has life for us ever been fair? It's not fair that we have to live here and dad and Finn have to risk their lives every single day! It's not fair that the only reason I can work and help keep this family safe is because I'm a 20-year-old woman who serves as eye candy for those disgusting rats that keep us hidden from Them! It's only a matter of time until Crash can't protect me anymore and the rats take me for their own! Life is not fair and it's time that Chris learned that!"
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Alae felt ashamed. She went back to poking at the coals as her mother gaped at her silently. There was a sound of feet on stairs and the door burst open. A tall, slender man in a white apron and jeans stood in the light that spilled out of the entry, casting a long shadow that stretched across the room. His gray eyes bore into the back of Alaeh's head as he sopke in furious wisper.
"What in the name of all that is holy is going on down here? Are you mental? What makes you think that it's okay to shout the house down? I've got rat customers up there and you're lucky that they're all too wasted to register anything or there would be major hell to pay!"
No one spoke for several moments.
"Well?" the man demanded
"Sorry Crash. It won't happen again,"Alae mumbled to the floor.
"It bloody well had better not!" He sighed and ran grimy fingers through his dark hair. Shaking his head, he turned and shut the door. They could hear him stomping up the stairs. There was quite, interrupted only by the muted music and scuffel of feet above. Then Alaeh heard her mother walk up behind her and begin to stroke her head gently.
"Sweetheart, I know that it's not fair. But for some there is this little ray of hope and we cling to it as hard as we can. It's what gets us through. Don't be so hasty to take that away from us." Alae didn't answer, but continued to stab at the dying coals while tears fell silently to the floor, making tiny craters in the dirt.
I still don't have a title for this. Who knows if it will be something I want to continue. It is rather depressing at this point and will continue to be so for a while I think. Feel free to comment with what you think so far.
2 comments:
I was very intrigued by the story so far. It's similar to a lot of books that discuss the future, but the spirituality aspect is something that isn't really discussed as much. It makes sense that if you the world was falling apart that you would lose faith and it's not something that should be ignored.
The writing style is excellent (in my opinion), but there are some parts that are less convincing than others (and some more editing is needed). I don't know how I feel about the setting, but that's probably because I live there.
Hmm...I'd work on Crash a bit; I got that he was tough, but it was a little sketchy (that'd be helped by writing more). Also, I got a bit lost in the fight between Alaeh (I think) and some guy, but that could have been me being distracted or something.
I figured you'd like constructive criticism, so that's what I did! (plus, this is a nice way to avoid reading for music history!)
Hey, thanks for the input.
I always toy with the idea of making a setting somewhere else, but with all the stuff I have to do right now, it's a lot easier to base it in a place I already know really well. Less time spent doing all that research and going to visit the place to get the atmosphere and all.
It is a pretty typical plot. But it's almost impossible to come up with a completely original idea these days. You think you have a brand new story only to find out that they're making a movie based on the book that someone got to first.
Crash was a completely new idea that popped into my head as I was writing. The other characters I had already did a little developing. I figure that I will get to Crash a little more later on.
I'm always bad with writing dialog and I'm sure thats why the argument was confusing.
Thanks for the input! my next few entries will probably be continuations. I'm thinking that this story will be almost completely composed on this blog...seems like an interesting idea.
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